


Unhappy Anniversary

by cursedegyptiansupertermites



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: F/M, I wrote this from a roleplay that we had many years ago, This is really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 14:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13766262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cursedegyptiansupertermites/pseuds/cursedegyptiansupertermites
Summary: So this story was written for a good friend of mine. We had a Tom Hiddleston roleplay that lasted for years. Literally, years. Then one morning I came into work and found out through facebook that she had passed the day before due to complications from an emergency surgery. I was very distraught and it took me a long long time to get back to where I wanted to roleplay. So this story is very sad and is written from Tom's POV. I do hope you all enjoy it, though.





	Unhappy Anniversary

Two years.

He sat, stoic, in his chair, his attention on the reflection of his wedding band into the whiskey in his glass. There it was again, the ache. He rubbed his chest and sighed, draining the glass; he tried to tell himself that the sting in his eyes was from the alcohol and not tears.

He thought as he stood to refill the glass. He was happy about one thing: that his girls weren't there to see him. He drained the glass again, now looking at his own reflection in the side. He looked like shite and he was fully aware of that. He'd lost weight, his cheeks were hollowed out like a skeleton, and his bags had bags. His body was failing, and his weight was still dropping. The only thing keeping him going at this point was knowing that his daughters needed him.  
He could still recall with striking clarity the night he told them they'd never see their mother again; the feeling when the surgeon told him that the other half of his heart had faded on the operating table. The room had darkened and buzzed around him; for moments there was only darkness and when he came to with his knees on the floor while a polite nurse tried to console him. He'd been so angry with the surgeon; it was alike an uncontrollable rage. He came home that night and destroyed his office. Every script and book he'd kept just for her.

He looked at the glass in his hand again. The rage, he could still feel it sometimes, but this was overwhelming. Only a moment and he was coming back from the darkness again, brought out by the sound of glass shattering against the wall. He looked at it blankly, noting the new dent. He noted the entire wall; there was a dent for every overwhelming emotion, for every trial. There was one just next to the window from the night he'd told the girls. Jocelyn and Rosalie were sad later because they missed their mum, but Anna… she had been the worst.

He told the twins with no understanding. Anna was different; she knew. She had thrashed and screamed before breaking down into breathless sobs. He could only hold her and cry with her as he tried his best to soothe the ache. She still had nightmares, still woke up in the middle of the night screaming for her mummy. A little piece of him crumbled every time he had to sooth her remind and her that Jamie had gone to a better place. He never really slept, but he cried on those nights.  
His focus moved back from his thoughts to the wall again, catching another dent. It was the largest. He remembered it with the most clarity. He'd been taking a moment to try to collect himself and get into contact with her family. He'd only expected to find her phone in her purse. What he hadn't expected was the tiny bracelet box. He figured it was a gift for a friend; it threw him when it had his name on the tag. Shaking hands opened the box and his eyes blurred with tears as he read the note.

_I think it's a boy this time._

He looked down slowly, his eyes falling upon the ironic little stick with a positive sign and a smile. That little smile bore into his broken soul, taunting him. He'd destroyed his office again, that night. Ben and Erika kept the girls, letting him have the time for himself and begin the arrangements.  
But tonight… There was a new dent. This day four years ago was one of the happiest of his entire life; not he just wished he could delete it from reality. A choked sob escaped his lips and he took the wedding band from his finger. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a piece of ribbon from the drawer, dropping the ring onto it, and tying the ribbon around his neck, needing it close to his heart.

He was angry. He didn't know who he was angry with; with everyone, he supposed. He was angry with the surgeon, angry with Jamie for leaving him, angry with whatever entity decided that she didn't need to be there with him. He wiped the tears from his face and sniffed as he walked back to his office. Grabbing the whiskey bottle, he ignored the busted glass, and stumbled toward his bed, stripping his clothes off on the way. The bottle was empty before he climbed into the bed, curling into a tiny ball under the blanket with her pillow pulled against his chest.

It no longer smelled like her, for that he was both grateful and heartbroken. It didn't matter; in his mind, she still smiled down on him and he could sense her smell in the fabric. He held off as long as possible, but it was moot point. He broke down in sobs, his head buried in her pillow until the alcohol numbed him and he fell into a restless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. I didn't actually ever intend to post it online, but as sad as it is, I thought it was a good story.


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